Sometimes I miss that age when snacking meant having to grab for a bag of Doritos, when the word indulge was out of my vocabulary.
I miss that labeless ingenuity of my teenage years. Generally I miss my teenage years, period.
I get nostalgic thinking about the past. Younger -not necessarily wilder- times when I felt free. Of course everything looks greener from afar because I was never really a careless girl. Too aware of the future and too self conscious about my present. I always kept myself on the side where all the over-worriers liked to hang out.
This past month Heinz and I took a trip to California. He had to study while I had to compulsively take as many yoga classes as I could. I mean, that is what you do when you are in LA!
We stayed near Santa Monica (insert a million heart emoticons here) and while Heinz took his hipster rented Prius to class I let my purple rented bike take me to wherever I wanted to go.
After Heinz was done with classes we decided to take a road trip up to Big Sur. As Keruac-esc as Heinz is he wanted to rent a proper On-the-Road-no-AC type of car but honestly, after filling up the tank with 33$ the Prius was a no-brainer.
While we were on the road I felt that teenage lightness again. The freedom that comes from having no plans or schedules, no sleeping arrangements, no list of things to do. It made me feel careless and free! Doritos-for-a-snack kind of free. Katy-Perry-cruising-in-a-convertible-with-THAT-guy-on-THAT-video-clip type of free. I mean, except I was in a Hybrid Hatchback but you know, tomayto/tomahto.
This was the first time in my life I hadn't plan a trip thoroughly. The first time we would sort of wing it!
The un-attachment of not having to be at a certain place, on a certain time. The lightness that comes from carrying only the things I needed made this trip different. I guess every trip you take IS different from the previous one but this one gave me peace.
It feels weird even just to type it. I've been looking for the right word, the term freedom -just as the concept of free will- is something I'm still making my mind about so I didn't want to use it to describe my feelings. It was the only word that would come to my mind until I thought of peace.
A peaceful, un-eventful road trip.
I follow on Instagram a few people who live and travel out of their vans. Call me crazy but Into the Wild happens to be one of my favorite movies and leaving everything behind to go into the woods is something I fantasise about. Often.
We didn't go into the woods this time but man do I crave it.
This time it was the road and a hell lot of words. The question "What do I want to do today?" is kind of magic. We drove and talked for hours, we stayed in cheap motels and talked some more.
Even though I ate enough greasy food to remind me that I'm not in my teen years anymore we made our way back feeling lighter than when we left.