I got up to a cloudy L.A.
I woke up at 7:00 AM.
The tacos I ate last night were this morning's alarm clock.
It was already 8:00 AM in El Salvador. When you live abroad you know that's what you do.
There comes a point when thinking in parallel time-zones becomes a habitual pattern.
Alternating between two times.
I had a video waiting for me on my Whatsapp family group.
It is my mom's birthday today.
The cool morning weather suddenly felt even cooler.
I called in the one and only Carlos Vives to warm up my heart.
The thing with Carlos Vives is that he manages to make me feel like I could love my country a bit more.
A lot more.
Maybe if I loved it more then it could, just maybe, love me back.
When I lived in Madrid I couldn't learn to love El Salvador in the distance. All I wanted was to be cradled, held and embraced by my kind of Spanish, my town-like country traditions, mi patria (I believe there is no English translation for that word).
I went back.
Like a junkie.
Why I'd left the fist time quickly became evident.
I'd loved El Salvador but I didn't feel loved in return.
So, once again, I left.
I quit our abusive relationship.
I needed to get better.
To do better.
On random days I miss it.
Normally when it gets cold.
It is 22° here and 31° in San Salvador.
Technically, it's colder here in L.A.