I Make Myself

Period. Full stop

While growing up I dreamed of becoming the archaeologist who would discover the Machu Pichu of our decade.Yes, I would not only be a random archaeologist but a famous one.

I outgrew the archaeologist phase and then went through a ballerina stage.  I have to say (cough) that even though I have a dancer's flexibility -according to both my yoga teacher and my running coach- I didn't even make it to ballet lessons. I didn't quite outgrew that chapter but continued with my non-dancer life (although I have to confess I have been making my own investigations about ballet for grownups) -suspicious eyes end that sentence-  Other careers in my what-I-want-to-be-when-I-grow-up list were: private investigator, Princess Leia and Jeannie from I dream of Jeannie.

Although many of those choices would have given great success in my adult life, I luckily found my true passion: writing. Words and letters in all their forms are my true love...next to running and nutella. Ok, maybe Heinz should be in there too but only if he comes third after nutella.

My career has included -but has not been based on-  writing. That left me with wanting to write more  which is one of the reasons I started my blog.

Following down the dream's path there is another dream career I haven't crossed out of my list yet.  So what would the dream within a dream be Inception fans?

Being a travel writer.

There is a tiny technicality getting in my way though. In order to become a travel writer I would have to...well...travel. Since that doesn't happen as often as I would like I can't create content exclusively about my journeys. But what happens when I do travel? Well, I have no publishing outlet.

But my fellow readers don't fill your hearts with disillusions just yet. I have found the way to make my dreams come true. Since I am the Chief Editor  of my blog I've decided to publish my own travel guides and become a travel writer for a post or two. It is so easy to make my dreams come true when I own the publishing medium.

So stay posted as tomorrow I will share with you my not-your-average travel guide for London. Next, Madrid.

Meanwhile here is the closure to my first marathon journey. Hubby put together this video...isn't he the best? Watching this will be a great way to remind me over and over and over (Yes, I will play it several times) how I felt crossing that finish line. I know, as if one could forget right?

Here you go everyone...let's make ourselves run today and travel tomorrow.

 

  

 

 

My first marathon

If you've been following this blog you may know that  for the last three months I was training for my first marathon. The day came, I ran my first marathon, it was in Madrid and it was a life changing experience. Here is why:

I chose Madrid because I lived there for four years. Those years were hard. I was struggling to find happiness in a foreign country, in my 'new' newlywed life and in my masters educated self but it just wasn't happening. I felt hopeless and overall I felt alone. I blamed the weather, the city  and just about everything about my adoptive country. 

We moved back to El Salvador two years ago but I still felt that my time with Madrid wasn't over. I didn't want to have that negative feeling towards anything! It isn't healthy. When I decided I would run a marathon before turning thirty I started searching for spring marathons because my birthday is in August therefore an Autumn marathon couldn't technically cut it. Coincidentally Rock 'n' Roll was hosting its first marathon in Europe in -yes, you guessed it- Madrid.

It was a-nobrainer to choose that marathon plus Heinz and I had been talking about taking a trip to Europe this year so it was decided: Madrid was going to be the city where I would run my first marathon. 

The last three months of training drained every ounce of energy I had. I won't lie it felt so hard that towards the final days I was feeling fed up with running. I felt training had taken all the fun out of running! I asked myself repeatedly - why did I decide  to run a marathon? why did I had to put myself through this -beerless and exhausting-  process? So many unanswered whys that I even said to a couple of friends that this would be my first and last marathon.

 

-Spoiler alert- 

I TAKE IT BACK! With absolutely no doubt I WILL run not just one but -hopefully- many marathons more.

 

To make things a little more difficult I got injured in the middle of my training- You can read about my injury and my training here- The injury obviously took a toll on my training but it made me bounce back with a different mindset. My injury taught me that there would be set back's -in training and in life- but I could decide what to do with myself,  I could let it sink me or I could overcome them.

But what did overcoming mean? In this case it meant letting my time goal go.

I disregarded my 4h30 finish time. Instead I focused on not loosing my endurance and strengthening my muscles. I kept running but speed and time were no longer my main concern my goal became what it first was: TO RUN MY FIRST MARATHON BEFORE TURNING 30!!! 

I've been kind of freaking out about turning thirty. To be completely honest I've been freaking out A LOT! I mean thirty..it marks a milestone. In your teens and your twenties you have so many things to look forward to: going through high school, choosing a career, college, graduating, choosing a professional profile, first job, maybe finding a significant other, probably marriage and so on. But after turning thirty what is there to look forward to? Settling? Am I supposed to look forward to settling down? 

Shoot me.

I can't. I don't work like that. For good or for bad I can't look forward to settling! and that is where running comes in. Running makes me move forward. As simple as that. Every time I run I challenge myself and I achieve goals which for me is addictive.

Before landing in Madrid we made a pit stop in London. My sister in law lives there and we got together with Heinz's family. It was a wonderful time and it kept my mind off the marathon. I walked around, I carb loaded and I had fun. 

I felt prepared and I felt strangely sane! There were no race jitters, no over thinking, nothing.

We arrived in Madrid and it was weird. Good weird. It was all so familiar yet distant. I realized Madrid was still the same, the one who had changed was me.  I was not the same person that left two years ago. I was different. I was happy and it had nothing to do with the city I lived in or the city I was visiting it was my heart that was in a different place.

We checked in at our hotel and called it an early night. Next day was the marathon expo! I had heard this expos were huge and people even advised not to wander around because it could have a negative effect on your marathon! I did ask myself how big could this thing be?

Well, it was big! but it was my first marathon expo! so I did wander around. How could I not? I have to confess something...every time I see anybody running in the street I get so excited I scream: fellow runner! -Every time I do it Heinz naively asks if I know them- of course I don't know them we just share the same obsession and that is enough for me. At this expo there were hundreds of them! hundreds of my fellow runners. I kept smiling at everyone as I went and did my thing,

I got my Bib number:

Checked my chip:

I loved the white and blue among all the Spanish flags.

Got my goodie bag and -of course- organized it:

 

Got my shirt:

...and finally posed for the picture:

By the time we got back to the hotel I was expecting to have a rush of anxiety and a much expected break down but it didn't happen. I felt prepared. I mean not prepared as if I felt I was going to break a record but I felt confident. 

Marathon day started with a quick shower and a banana. I thought I could eat a toast but I couldn't swallow anything. The banana was the best I could do.

I applied  went crazy with the bodyglide and also threw in some vaseline. On my last half marathon I got blisters for not doing it. I wore my pretty pink compression socks and borrowed Heinz's coat to keep me warm.

  
At the metro -see the fellow runner!- and later at the starting line.

Heinz gave me a kiss and I started to walk towards my corral. I warmed up and strecthed for half an hour. It was a beautiful spring day with the perfect temperature. It was chilly but not cold.

I was there by myself. Just as I was supposed to face this challenge. A marathon is very personal maybe as personal as a journal. Even though it's such a crowded event you take and process everything individually. Goals and motives are as singular as DNA. 

  

The race started and I was at the back end. Where I could start at my own pace without worrying others would pass me.

Oh hi Heinz hope to see you at the half mark!

I had grouped the 26 miles in series of three and I also had taped my Garmin so I could see only my pace and distance. I knew that if I saw I had been running four hours non-stop I would probably freak out. Specially if I still had more hours to go.

The first three miles felt easy. I felt strong and wanted to push harder but I had to be wise and manage my energy evenly. To my surprise Heinz was waiting for me not far away from mile three. Our meeting point was going to be the half marathon just in case I needed to change my shoes, socks, apply more bodyglide, etc. He had more energy gels for me, a banana, a granola bar and more hydration. He was amazing, he spend his day carrying a backpack and taking pictures and videos of the race. He met me in more than one point but we missed each other at the half marathon. It was ok I didn't need anything.

The course was beautiful. You get to see almost every highlight point in Madrid. We started at Colon, then we passed by the Santiago Bernabeu Stadium although not a fan of the Real Madrid myself, then we went straight to the city's heart through Fuencarral -a lovely shopping street in a very hip neighborhood-, to Gran Via the famous avenue in Madrid. The half marathon was near Puerta del Sol, known as the center point of Madrid and we continued to Plaza Mayor, Catedral de la Almudena, the Royal Palace and Plaza de España.

I passed the half marathon mark and thought -I so got this!- I didn't feel tired, my legs were coordinated with my enthusiasm and I was ready to push harder. The course would take us to a part of the city I had never been. We went through Casa de Campo which is a gigantic green area where people do almost anykind of outdoor sport. At mile 15 (25KM) we turned to Casa de Campo and 5 miles of nothing but trees awaited. 

By mile 16 a pain in my left knee forced me to slow down. Shortly after I had to stop and start walking. The pain was as if the two bones in my knees were rubbing against each other. It was ugly. I thought -well I got this far I will just ask one of the therapists (there were therapists in some points through out the race) to give me some pain reliever or spray me some of that cold thing on my knee so I can get to the finish line-. I knew that when I finished the pain would be unbearable but I had little to go so I asked at the hydration point and they said the therapist would be -and I quote- "Just around the corner".

I decided to walk to the therapist. I ended up walking around 40 to 50 minutes! Since I had taped my Garmin I couldn't really say how long it took me but I walked almost 4 miles! It turns out that the therapist was at the end of the trail right where I headed back into the city. I finally found the tent and to my surprise they didn't have anything but ice. I knew if I iced my knee the race would be over. I said "thank you but no, I'll just walk then" He told me to stretch my quads and I was decided to walk to the finish line. After all I had only 6 miles (10KM) to go. 

As I stretched with the therapist the time car drove in front of me. If It passed me it meant I was off time meaning that I could finish the race but the streets would no longer be closed for me to run. I would have to run through traffic or on the side walk.

Although I wasn't feeling defeated seeing the car gave me a new energy rush and I don't know if it was the stretching that worked but I started to run again and my pain was gone. Some police men told me to run on the sidewalk and so did some of the race organizers I waved "thank you" and continued to run. I got my pace back and passed the police men, then the organizers, then the time car, then some runners, then more runners! I was passing and running and people in the street wear yelling, waving, clapping and I thought -Oh my God I will finish this- 

As I saw the Retiro Park -meaning I had less than 2KM to go- I started to cry. I couldn't control it. I felt so proud of myself! all those months of training, my effort, my injury...everything made sense. People cheered me up. As I tried to wipe my tears a fellow runner who had finished the race was walking the opposite way towards the exit. Maybe it was the tears but when he saw me he turned around and started to run with me, he told me I had this, he told me I was a champion and to give it all I had. And I did. As I approached the finish line I passed a runner who looked at me and said "we did it" and I said "I know, we did!" His wife and kid were waiting for him as we crossed the line.

I had run my first marathon. 

I saw Heinz and I couldn't wait to hug him. I got my medal and walked to the exit to meet him. I felt that even though I had finished it didn't feel like an ending. I had worked so hard and the race would be the conclusion of a three month journey but it wasn't. The race gave me hope and it felt like a first milestone towards a running future. It was not a closure it was a start.

I hugged my husband and we searched for a spot to sit. I stretched a little then applied some antinflamatory. My feet hurt. I wanted to walk barefoot! That is something nobody told me! Luckily Heinz was carrying another pair of shoes. Since my knee had hurt and I didn't have any bandage I used KT Tape to give them some support on my walk to the exit.  I had a banana and my mom called. She had set her alarm clock and she was so excited I could hear her voice break down a little. 

I didn't feel exhausted I felt tired but happy. I was extremely happy!

  

After having run my first marathon I have some after thoughts.  I thought running 42KM would change me. The truth is that for me it wasn't the race but my training what changed me. All the effort, sacrifices, physical bumps and food choices. That is what changed me. The race felt as a validation. 

Finishing altered my perspective about what is possible. Even some of my close friends discouraged me to run this marathon but it was my challenge and I worked through it. I am not a fast runner. I am not a time, speed or pace reference.  I'm also self-conscious about it. I speculate about what others might think, anticipate failing and I constantly dread not being able to finish the race. Still I ran. 

I also felt that I was able to alter my past and future. Madrid was the city I had been the saddest in, now it is the city where I ran my first marathon. Madrid didn't change. I did.

This 42KM race gave me the opportunity to feel a personal sense of accomplishment. The fulfilling experience of setting a goal and running right past it.

 

 

My 26.2 miles in Madrid

In El Salvador we measure distances in meters and kilometers. This makes a marathon a 42 kilometer race. Not a very appealing sum. I decided I would measure the marathon in miles because I am hoping it will mentally help me to know that I will run 26 instead of 42.

I am a huge follower of this blog. In Gia’s blog I always find great running motivation plus cute baby pics! Double the fun! Literally because she is a twin mamma! When she ran the New York marathon last year she posted an amazing idea of running each mile for one thing she was thankful for. The moment I saw it I knew I wanted to do the same whenever I decided to run my first marathon.

Well my first marathon is here and I will be doing exactly the same thing Gia did. I will run 26 miles of gratitude. Here is my list.

1.Looking at the big picture.

I am thankful I can acknowledge there is a master plan for my life. Every step, decision, action I make is a step closer to achieving the life goals I was born to achieve.  Mile one is the first step.

2.My blog

This was a goal I had been postponing due to fear, insecurities and a fundamental point: I thought people wouldn’t care what I had to say! I overcame the fear of sharing my life, goals and emotions and instead of becoming more vulnerable I became the opposite! Now I have more courage and I am less afraid of being scrutinized and criticized. 

3.Bloggers that have been my motivation

This one is for Amanda, Gia and Julie. A simple thank you wouldn’t be enough. You don’t know me but be sure that you have been a support system for me.  You are an inspiration in more ways than just running.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart

4.Beer and Ice cream

I stopped drinking beer and eating ice cream after I got injured in my training. It wasn’t a doctor’s advice or anything like that it was simply a personal decision. I chose to withdraw from these two things because I wanted to fully commit to my training and I felt that by indulging in beer or ice cream even if it wasn’t in an obscene manner it was still indulging so I decided to sacrifice them so I could be sure I was 100% willing to prepare my body for this marathon. This one is for all the beers I didn’t drink and all the ice cream I didn’t eat and yeih for me!

5.Training plan

Schedules, charts, Garmin, speed work and hills!

6.Commitment

Three months of running non-stop, trying to be careful with the food I ate, going to bed early, being sore, foam rolling...Yes, this one is for the sacrifices and commitment I put into marathon training.

7.Therapist

The girls at the therapist who took care of me for the last month. They helped me heal and made me laugh with all their funny stories.

8.Britney Spears

I know it may sound silly but I am a huge Britney fan! -I love you Britney!- I think her come back is reaaaaally amazing! so this mile is not only for her but for comebacks in general!  I hope she finds out I ran 1 mile for her I can get her to follow me on twitter! That would be out of this world!

9.The girls

All the fun, laughter and love have been a fuel in my life.

10.El Salvador

I was born and raised here. It shaped me into who I am. My country, the good and the bad and of course our runners.

11.Healing through yoga

My yoga practice helped me heal physically and emotionally.

12.Vale & Ele.

You got me into running. This is my way to repay you. You may not be physically running with me but you are running a much more difficult race and even though this comes from a non-mom: My friend, you are doing the most amazing job raising the cutest girl in the world.

13.Tio Eli

My uncle passed away this past December, shortly before the holidays. It was a hard moment for the family. It still is. He was my mom’s oldest brother and he died of a heart condition. He was just a remarkable man. I am running this mile for him.

14.Naho y Gaby

These two girls are pure happiness. My aunt and uncle have adopted two sisters Gaby (11) and Naho (4). Their story –at such short age- is of struggle and hope.  They are always smiling and have brought joy not only to my aunt and uncle but also to all the family! I love these two girls they simply melt my heart.

15.Recovering from my injury

An entire month in therapy but...I did it.

16.Linda

Need I say anything?  We are running the next one together!

17.Running buddies

Mema and Capi. For always being ahead and puling me forward.

18.Madrid Years

This is a hard one. I don’t know how I’ll handle this one but this mile is for not being able to run more than 5k, for all the sad moments left behind, for the two gifts God sent me to get me through -Patty & Ale-, for coming back, for moving forward.

19.Fifteen year old me

This one is for never believing the ones that said you couldn’t. This one is for making your dreams come true little me!

20.Grandpa

My grandpa and I were really close. He taught me the amazing gift of enjoying a good book. By the age of 7 I was reading Jules Vernes, by the age of 12 I was reading Mario Vargas Llosa and Shakespeare. We used to sit together to read and talk for hours. Now he is 103 years old and I can’t hold a conversation with him. I am running this mile for him and for all his accomplishments.

21.Dad

I used to call him chicken soup when I was little, now is plain old Dad but the concept is still there.

22.Sara

There is nothing little about my little sister. She is a talented, creative, out of this world girl.  She can make your life anything but boring! This is for making the twenty-something years we lived together a blast!

23.Heinz

I am thankful we found each other, chose each other and that we are still with each other. I would marry you in this lifetime and the next one.

24.Mom

No words can describe how thankful I am for my mom. Even writing these lines make me tear up. My mom has been the one pulling, pushing, shaping, mentoring, comforting, and supporting me –ALWAYS-. I could run this marathon –no- a hundred marathons just to thank her.

25.Making it happen

I can achieve each every single goal I set my mind to. This marathon is a living proof. I am making it happen.

26.Turning 30

Never EVER forget you got yourself passed the finish line. Never forget how you felt crossing the finish line. 

 

Now, if you’ll excuse me I have a marathon to run.

 

Hello and goodbye

I’ve been away for a week due to an Internet eventuality. I changed my Internet provider and hired a new company. The old company would disconnect my Internet service on the day the new company would make the new connection. Obviously that didn’t go as planned and a week later I was still Internetless.

Thankfully I somehow managed to get some help from a really nice guy who helped me speed up this whole Internet connection process and I am back…for now because….we are leaving on Sunday!

This week has been filled with stress, anxiety and tons of errands. I had to make sure all the bills were paid in advanced, I had to make sure both Heinz and my tax declarations were properly filled and submitted –this included a visit to a government institution…only God knows how we survived that experience- plus this internet thing had me going back and forth all over San Salvador.

Friday I had my last therapy and I talked to my doctor. He said I was good to go and prescribed some medicines for the week prior to the marathon and some more in case I needed them after running.

After a month in therapy sessions I finally had my last one on friday.

I had lunch with my mom and my sister, ran some final errands and I was home ready for some mental calmness which for me includes:

Laying out all my things oh so very neatly on my bed.

Regarding the marathon I’ve been strangely calm about it. My anxiety has been mostly about getting everything done before we leave.  I feel prepared and trained and I really want to make the best out of this experience.

I am planning to take it easy and enjoy my run not obsessing about my pace and time. I mean of course I’ll be keeping track but I won’t be focused on my Garmin.

I’ve been thinking on the reasons I decided to run a marathon and especially why I chose to run a marathon in Madrid. I had such a hard time the first years living there that I wanted to come back and show the city –and myself- that I was able to overcome every negative feelings I had towards that time, the city and even me!

 It has been two years since we moved back to El Salvador and going back will be an emotional journey. I am sure. The marathon will be the peak of it.

That is why I want to have a good marathon after taste! The point of going back is to have a positive experience in Madrid and I don’t want to ruin it by beating myself up for not making the perfect finish time.

As I said you gotta do what you gotta do for emotional stability.

Oh yes, and I forgot to mention…we are making a pit stop in LONDON! We are visiting my sister in law and meeting Heinz's family there. It should be a fun time!

So long for now my dear friends, next time I write it will be from across the world. If you want you can follow me on twitter where I will be sharing my race updates, random pictures of food, I’ll even throw in there some traditional tourist pose pictures which (insert sarcasm) I know my hubby will be delighted to take on my demand.

 

 

Pros & cons of marathon training

Time is ticking and my training journey is coming to an end. In less than a month I will able to call myself a marathoner. 

Check out the timer on the upper left side!! killer uh? 

I am not completely done with training but I think I am able to weight or counterweight the pros and cons of this process.

Overall I can say it has been HARD.

If I like something I get into it eyes closed/ heart opened and I love running so that could only mean that I would take training really serious. For example I've been MIA from many things like night time activities and my eating out options have narrowed down to three or four restaurants.

I've made a list so anyone can analyze and evaluate if training for a marathon is your thing.

 

Cons

• Tired & hungry

And it must be said -Heinz as witness- that the combination of both make me really grumpy. I've noticed that if I workout in the morning it opens my appetite and I am starv-eating every meal (you know that feeling of swallowing un-chewed food-that is starveating). I try not to let myself get too hungry as a rule but for the last period of my training this has been nearly impossible. No matter how much I eat it seems that it's not enough! I try to snack on fruit, nuts and things that will give me energy but bottom line is being hungry and/or tired is not  pleasant. Period. 

• No beer

Enough said.

• Foam rolling

Whoever came up with that foam roller thing has got to be a pain enthusiast because foam rolling is pure torture! Picture this: You get back from your workout, you shower, have a snack and all you want to do is relax. Nope, foam roller is waiting for you so you can press down and break up tissue. Pain you! Foam roller from hell.

• Commitment

All I seem to do is train, rest & train again. Specially since I'm not a fast runner a 20K run can take me more than 2 hours to complete. Since I had to recover lost distance due to an injury I am now training both mornings and afternoons. I shower twice, ice twice, foam roll twice, everything twice. It's been less than a month and I am already out of conditioner.

Everything seems to revolve around training. I had to rearrange schedules, behaviors, routines, etc. I even have to eat before eating out because I can't afford having poor food choice for dinner before training.

By the way I asked hubby for his opinion on this post and he was really helpful giving me a huge list of cons!......yeah, now I know where he stands on marathon training. His list included my constant whining -specially while I foam roll-, smoothies and shakes leftovers in the blender and drinking glasses and my injury (which was covered by my health insurance).

But now on with the positive. 

 

Pros

• Body & self esteem

My body is better than eva'! this has got to be number one on the pros list. It's not only that I've lost some weight but I am more toned and fit and I can see the difference as days go by. Is not a mystery that there is a direct link between how a women sees herself and her confidence. Regardless of how we look it is our own self perception what we portray to others. I once saw a TED talk where the speaker went on talking about successful marriages and she pointed out that when a women feels good with herself the marriage is more likely to work! She said the secret was to be fitter and skinnier than your husband. That didn't mean a woman has to be skinny it just meant one would have overfeed the hubbs to make him gain weight. Jokes aside the speaker's message was that a women who likes her body is a confident women and a confident women is a happy woman!!!!  what can I say...based on my own experience I will have to agree on that one.

• Carb loading

 Gimme my carbs. I can eat A LOT and not feel guilty. Yes, I still can't eat junk food but I wouldn't even if I wasn't training.

• Learning process

Running is in many ways similar to life. Running keeps you constantly learning about your body, mind and emotions. I would blindly recommend to anyone who wants to venture into a self finding journey to give running a try. With training you get better but you must stay humble because you know there is sooooooo much more you still have to learn. You know there is always going to be someone who is faster, stronger and better. And you learn to be ok with that because each time you cross a finish line you realize you are your own and only opponent. 

I guess -and hope- when I cross that finish line at the end of my first marathon I can recap more pros for this list. So far this is it and even if the cons list is longer I have to say the pros list wins. Why? because I am not only my own opponent but my own judge -wink-  there you have it...the words of a tired, hungry but a lot more confident women.

Happy weekend y'all!

Asking for help

Running has taught me many things about myself and about life. 

This blog is about sharing those lessons. The last one I've learned is to ask for help when I need it.

I suffered from a psoas injury right in the middle of my marathon training. An important thing about training is that you prepare your body but you also work your confidence.

Two months into my training I was forced to rest and undergo therapy. 

Resting wasn't easy. I was freaking out about loosing what I had built and when I went back to running I knew my injury wasn't just physical but also emotional.

I was able to run while I was still in therapy and at the doctor's office I ran into another fellow runner who asked about my injury. I told her my psoas story and she asked how far I was into my training and I said two months and one more month to go. She looked at me and said: you need to hire a running coach to-day.

She told me about  a coach that had trained with her.

That same day I talked to him and told him about my marathon, my training, my psoas and my injured runner's soul. 

He listened to my fast speaking self, let me finished and asked: are you fully recovered from your psoas?

Ruth: I have had two runs with no pain at all

Coach: can you train mornings and afternoons?

Ruth: Yes.

Coach: Ok. Then we will work every day at 6:00 am and then again at 6:00 pm

I was afraid to reply I thought it was too much!!! Had he not heard I was recovering from an injury? Maybe he thought I was a professional athlete? I went back home feeling more disturbed than relieved.

Next morning I was up and ready. I had some oats and a kiss from hubby for breakfast and I made my way to the track field. 

At the track field I found my coach (I still can believe I get to say those words: MY coach)

Coach: right on time! good sign! five laps to warm up.

Ruth: that's like 2km

Coach: yes. 

Ruth- to herself: Yeah, we'll see if I make it to the actual workout.

After my 2K run he taught me some -never done before- dynamic stretches. Men did I look silly! I looked like I was doing senior citizen's aerobics. I found this video on Youtube that includes most of the stretches the coach taught me. 

 

After that I ran around 10K.

I finished my first training session running the farthest I had run after my injury.

I had zero pain.

It has been the BIGGEST confidence boost E.V.E.R.

I've had a total of 4 sessions and still no pain. I have trained harder than I ever had and still have no pain!

Saturday morning I had a long talk with my coach and he said:

1. I am not injured. Let it go.

2. It's all in my mind.

On that day he made me take my pulse after each series (I did five) and even though I was complaining after every single one he made me realize my pulse was even through out my runs which meant IT WAS ALL IN MY MIND. 

That has been the hardest work out and I thought I would be sore after I cooled down but a couple of hours later I was still pain free.

The lesson: Ask for help if you need it.

There is absolutely no way I was going to train that hard by myself. I would have stopped with the minor pain or discomfort. Why? Because I don't know any better.

I am not a great runner. I am training for my first marathon. I still have a lot to learn and some things I can't learn them by myself.

I have to ask someone for help.

I had no idea how to make up for the lost training. I can't make those kind of decisions and if I did the cost could mean not running my marathon. That would be just unthinkable and unaffordable.

I told my coach he would be my therapist for the next month and he laughed. But it is the truth. He has given me my confidence back.

I am running Garmin free. I am trying not to count distance and disregarding pace. Coach can worry about that. I will focus on my heart and running happy in the meantime.

Isn't running just like life? Some times we need to ask for help and it is ok. We must stay humble. We must learn to learn.

Running must make me happy

This weekend was my first run with no hip pain after a long time. It totally lifted my spirit.

I am gradually getting better. I ran 5K this saturday and I felt so strong that I knew this hip thing was a minor set back. I am coming back stronger! I can feel it!

But I want to know what I did wrong.

I checked  out my dailymile training to trace back the pain. I thought maybe I could discover what I did that caused my injury.

And yes, I saw it.

I am not a running coach but I can definitely see that the chart shows a very uneven training. It doesn't seem gradual at all! which supports what the doctor said.  I over demanded myself.

Check out week 10. I had to rest and logged ZERO kilometers.

 

The weeks before the training look empty because I started using my Garmin exactly when I started training that is why all the running activity starts in december.

 

I started december 19th. December I logged 51kms. January  I logged 131 kms! That is double december plus almost 30% more!!

The first days in february I started feeling a minor complaint  just when I was supposed to add even MORE distance. Code red. Injury in the horizon.  I admit it. I tried to push myself too hard. 

I have to embrace the fact that I am not a great runner. I am still in the making and it is OK.

-Really...it is?

-Yes.- Ruth. It is.

Now, two things.

First, why do I talk in third person?

I am my own cheerleader remember!

Numero dos.

A runner may seem like a free spirit, outdoors wanderer, distance traveler person and -even though we may deserve those cool labels- there is one description that should be printed in bold letters in our profile: number obsessed. 

We want to log the miles. We want to beat PR's. Pace, distance, body fat percentage...YOU NAME IT...if its got the numbers we want to improve them. Fast.

Its challenging, it makes you push harder but it also takes away all the fun.

I think that is one of the greatest things that I will learn from this training: I want to get better at running -YES- but I still want it to be fun. I want to enjoy it.

Is it going to be a longer process? ... Maybe. But the truth is that I am always looking forward to the future, planning ahead, setting goals, etc. and for once I don't want to. I want to enjoy the ride and if that means -in my case- finishing the marathon at a slower pace. So be it.

Being slower and finishing later does not make me less of a runner.

On the other hand being injured DOES make me less of a runner.

Today I choose the longer, slower, injury free path to running.

Today I choose to run the way it makes me happy.

 

This is my psoas speaking

Hi, I am Ruth's psoas muscle.

I am still swollen and have been undergoing some seriously embarrassing therapy sessions. I am located near the groin area which means poor Ruth has to get undressed to get our therapy right on the spot where ir hurts. Luckily enough the therapist is a really nice girl and that makes Ruth feel less awkward. 

Ruth has been kind of losing her mind. I want to get better but she is leaning towards a negative mindset. Today I heard her saying she will bring her grandfather's walker to the marathon. I don't think she really means that.

She got all pretty today to get her passport renewed.  She absolutely dislikes ugly photos on IDs. We woke up today, got ready, went to our daily therapy and then made our way to get our new document.

When we got there the lady told Ruth she had to put her hair behind her ears and tie it up in a pony tail. To make things worst she said smiling was not allowed.

This is what happened.

She looks like a 40 year old version of herself. That DOES NOT make her happy. Even the lady at the supermarket said she looked like if she was her mom -Yes, Ruth showed her the picture- The lady complimented Ruth on looking pretty today. Ruth explained it was for her passport picture and decided to show it to her so they could discuss it.

You know what?...We'll do a close up. What the heck!

Poor thing.

Anyways, we are going to the gym today and then some yoga. I love me some yoga! 

Tomorrow we start using KT tape to see if it helps. I know it will. 

Sore psoas are not happy psoas. Unhappy psoas means an unhappy Ruth.

Passport picture as evidence.

 

 

 

 

my what?

Apparently my PSOAS have decided to go on a strike. 

Thank you PSOAS for living your entire life in the shadows and then revealing yourselves in this ungraceful manner.

Argh.

Long story short: In my follow up appointment with the doctor I was diagnosed with an inflammation in my PSOAS.

....in my what?????!!!!!

I didn't even know how to spell it! damn you silent P!

This is the Psoas muscle:

 
Images via

No wonder my hip hurts!!!! that tiny -so far insignificant- muscle runs from the lower back through the pelvis to the top of the leg. Exactly where it hurts! 

Although I want to hate my psoas SO bad I can't give them the silent treatment. The truth is I need them and I need them a lot. I talked to my doctor and he said most likely this happened from overuse/over training. The cool thing is I can keep running! I just have to follow some therapy sessions which include: ultrasound/electric pulse treatments and hot and cold therapy.

This is me in my therapy.

 

 
 

I have read on both sides -running and yoga- about the psoas and the information coincide. Bad posture & sitting for long hours takes a toll on this little one and stretching helps a lot! mmmm no wonder everything felt better down there after I went to my yoga classes..inneresting.

Coincidentally this month's pose at my yoga studio is PIGEON POSE which according to this article is the ultimate pose to stretch the psoas.

My running come back is a slow one but my doctor says I will be ok to run the marathon. In the mean time I've been keeping my self busy so I won't start obsessing about not being able to run as fast/often as I would like. 

So tonight: Yoga for dinner. Weight lifting for dessert.

 

I am my own cheerleader

Today I feel like if I am in an emotional coma. Nothing disturbs me but nothing thrills me either. I thought about posting a recipe and saving everyone from reading a corny post but I decided to confront it. Don't worry I will still save you from a whiny post. Instead of going through everything that has me in this self induced state I want to write down the reasons I decided to run a marathon.

This is my own attempt to cheer me up.

My 10 reasons to run a marathon.

1. I want to prove myself I can do it.

2. I want to beat down genetic history and attitude heritage towards sport

3. To be super cool and awesome.

4. To commit to something and carry it through

5. To learn to rely on myself.

6. So I can give Heinz  an excuse to give me an amazing post race present. I am secretly hoping for a puppy.

7. So I can have a post marathon party and pose with my shinny dazzling medal in every s.i.n.g.l.e picture.

Sort of like this one but on ACID!

Do I seem excited or what? and that wasn't even a half.

9. To get fit and beeeeuuureeefall (beautiful)

10. So I can start every sentence, tweet, facebook status with the words "when I ran my first marathon...." 

 

Editor's note: By the time I was done writing my last reason I was already smiling.

 

R-U-T-H go RUTH! + spirit fingers