I Make Myself

Yoga Teacher Training / Part II

I thought I would throw in some pictures because anyone who had to endure the last post deserves some sort of photo reward.

Hopefully this won't turn into an endless essay but beware I did start running again so it could go either way.

I'm back in Costa Rica and I'm here to take two more Yoga trainings. The first one was Self-Awakening Yoga Therapeutics (SAY). I finished that one last friday and the next one is Inner Quest for the Yoga Educator. This one will start this sunday and it ends mid April.

I can't even put into words what the SAY training was. It was beyond logic and exceeded every expectations -and I am a girl of expectations-

I remember when I was little I used to read the end of a book before I started reading it. I needed to know if it would have a happy ending. Ok, maybe not a happy ending but I didn't like that feeling of getting to know and love a character to then have them die in the middle of the story -Yes! I'm talking to you J.K. Rowling -

I do the same with movies -Heinz hates this by the way- but I need to know if it's a happy-ending movie before I watch it because I hate any open-ending crap.

So with SAY I had all kinds of expectations, not only with the training itself but with ALL the amount of things I would get done between classes.

I'll cut to the chase. I wasn't able to do anything. 

I brought -not one but two- pairs of running shoes, a curated list of books I intended to read and of course a laptop to blog and my camera to take tons of pictures.

None of that happened.

I was so exhausted from the training it was unbelievable. I'm not super energetic but I'd say I have a pretty active life so I thought you know -therapeutics- I'll still have time to do tons of stuff.

With the SAY I discovered how multi-layerd the human being is. How unaware of it I was. Sure I'd heard of this but I'd never experienced it myself.

The basis of the Nosara Yoga Institute is self-inquiry and I couldn't be more in love with their philosophy and their learning approach. It's so accessible to anyone.

I got so into the training that I was able to let go of any expectations both for me (running around, blogging, etc) and the training. I figured  even if it's totally outside my comfort zone I would approach every inquiry without anticipating the outcome.

It was exhausting because it was a struggle. Let me just quote a very famous song that fits perfectly right here:

Ooohhh, my body's sayin' let's go
Ooohhh, but my heart is sayin' no

It then goes on to saying how she's a genie in a bottle blah, blah...nonetheless you were so right Cristina, you were. so. right.

I'm currently trying to build a harmonious relationship with my heart, my feelings, my body and my mind. I think the more permissive I allow myself to be the more compassionate and loving I feel so we will see where that leads. Only one rule: no anticipation allowed.

And praise da' lord Heinz is coming. I really miss him. I needed to open a bottle of water -he always opens them for me because they are always too tight- and I couldn't open it so I spent a whole day drinking orange juice. It was sad. Luckily I didn't turn orange -remember that Sunny Delight urban legend...or fact!-

I've got a week off before my other training starts so that is why I did start running and got started on reading my books! <= insert heart emoticon here! I just love how you just know the book you are reading will become THAT book you absolutely love. I've highlighted pretty much everything I've read and by now Jung and I are best friends forever. 

I'm currently reading Memories, Dreams, Reflections. I'd been interested in reading C.G. Jung but somehow thought it would be too hard to understand. I read this would be an easy book to start with and it is. It's so story-like, paused and explained, he links his ideas to each experience that made him question or answer himself. He comes from a religious background and ever since he was little he remembers how he constantly went back and forth with the idea of God and the structure of religion so it speaks to me in a very special way (I come from a very religious family)

It's the perfect book for me right now and -I keep saying this- I think it's magical how the right book falls into my hands at the perfect time. 

Magic in Nosara is unfolding and my sister and my friend were here for the weekend and that was magical too! 

Nosara is a special place, you'll read that here and everywhere else because it. is. true.

 

Things to do in Nosara

It's been a little over a week since I came back from Nosara. Heinz and I had plans to stay one more week after my Yoga Teacher Training was over and so we did.

I know I'm not in Costa Rica anymore but I wanted to share what my list of to-do things if you ever decide to visit this magical beach.

You can call this a travel guide or not. Whatever you decide just give yourself a chance to do something new and fun while you are there.

First and foremost lets not forget that this is a surf and yoga place. Having set the record straight, my number one thing to do in Nosara is:

YOGA

I know. You kind of saw that coming didn't you? 

The best place to catch a morning or an afternoon session is at TreeTops. This is a small studio at the Nosara Yoga Institute and it is simply a gorgeous, cozy place. They offer different types of classes and schedules. You can check them out here.

SURF

It doesn't matter if you are a beginner or advanced surfer this beach has enough place for everyone. If you didn't travel with a surfboard (like me) I would recommend you stop by the Nosara Tico Surf School. They offer the best deals for renting a board, they have a wide variety of boards that are kept in great conditions and even though it's an all Tico school the instructors speak both english and spanish.

If you decide to surf don't forget to stop by Surfing Nosara in the afternoon. They take daily photos of Playa Guiones and if you are lucky enough you will get a couple of pictures of you surfing. Just stop by and bring an USB to take the pictures home with you. 

THE JUICE BAR

A healthy/happy place. My kind of place.

They make their own almond milk, they bake fresh batches of banana muffins, brownies and cookies.

They are all amazing. 

My favorite smoothies are the one that has banana, nut butter, cacao and dates and the one that has avocado, thai basil and pineapple.

RUN

In low tide along the beach. There are some tide pools on the south side that will call you in specially after a hot run in the morning sun.

Dont forget to drink plenty of water...or better yet...fresh coconut water after your run.

 

THE FRUIT TRUCK

This is a must in Nosara. This is a the type of thing that becomes a town event. 

Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday THE fruit truck comes in and you can buy fresh produce at a reasonable price.

I bought a papaya, broccoli, bananas, avocados and even Portobello mushrooms for around 10USD. It's not super cheap but it's fresh...and you get to hop into the truck to pick your own fruit. Pretty fun uh?

HARMONY HOTEL & RESTAURANT

This one gets my Best Place in Nosara award. The hotel just as the restaurant are both a harmonious experience. Heinz and I didn't stay at the Harmony this time but we did go for our last dinner to have the most wonderful ceviche and tuna steak.

If all these things sound appealing wait until you actually go and try everything out for yourself.  I love Nosara. I love it so much I will go back in March. Hopefully to continue with more yoga trainings.

My return to El Salvador has been smooth. I start teaching on Saturday but because of the holidays I will not have an established schedule until next year.

Heinz and I will be spending Christmas with his family so we are going on a little trip to Miami but will come back for New Year's day. 

The holidays are a very special time for me. I always get very emotional at the end of the year. I like to think about the year that has passed and about the year to come. In retrospect a year seems to go by so fast yet so many things can happen: people go in or out of your life, you go to new places, miss a special occasion...I don't know...it's nice to sum it up. At least for me.

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YTT - Finals days and thoughts

If there was a way I could sum up my Yoga Teacher Training experience it would by sharing the answers to a questionnaire we were given at the end of our training right after we were done with teaching the group classes. 

The title was Reflections on My teaching experience. 

Q. What were you interested in exploring as you were planning for your teaching experience?

A. My yoga story, how yoga has worked for me. Finding a common ground or a familiar context for the members of the group. Finding allegories and lessons of life and yoga. Telling a story.

 

Q. What were your challenges?

A. Not to obsess. Letting go of my old perfectionist give-your-best self.

 

Q. In teaching your class what surprised you?

A. How comfortable I felt in a teaching role. How much I liked guiding people in a self-exploring journey. How much it means to me to have someone else nail a headstand than to do one myself.

 

Q. What do you notice about yourself as a teacher now?

A. I don't need to be perfect or have impeccable postures to be a teacher. I don't need to be Iyengar I just need to be willing to keep learning. Now, I am ok with not being a know-it-all teacher instead I've embraced being a this-is-what-I-am teacher.

 

Q. What have you learned about your ability to generate sacred space?

A. It starts with me. I need to start by creating a sacred space for me. Becoming a non-judgemental witness in my own life makes it easier for me to create a safe -be yourself- environment for others. 

 

We had the opportunity to share these reflections with the group and there was one of the students who brought up one question that was written in a big piece of paper that was hanging from the ceiling where we had our classes. It had been obvious but yet understated until that moment. It still lingers in my head:

After all this experience, one month of self-discovery and even feeling more comfortable in my own skin...

Am I willing to accept the consequences of being myself? 

Yoga photo-shoot day, my yoga teacher diploma, written reflections & graduation presents from hubby (book and Iphone case)

 

 

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YTT - Fourth week

Our last and most incredible week. It was both exhausting and invigorating.

Yoga, by the way, is full of paradoxes.

In our fourth and final week of our Yoga Teacher Training (YTT) we were divided into groups. Just the coordination and organization of these groups is a multidimensional task.

Each of our groups had 5 to 6 students. My group ended up being the only 5-member one and I couldn't thank the Lord enough for this. You'll understand why in a minute.

Each of us had to teach a full 90-minute class to the group we were assigned to. More than assigned it was random placement but you get the point.

This means we spent two entire days going from yoga class to yoga class with a two hour break in-between. It was exhausting but yes, worth it.

I was the first one up. 

I had been anticipating dreading this moment from the second someone told me we would have to teach a class at the end of the training.

I had already faced so many fears, stepped out of my comfort zone in so many areas and to teach a yoga class -I thought- was way too much.

To call myself a teacher?

I mean, I know at the end of the training I would be certified to become a teacher IF I wanted to. I could still go on with my life without being put on the spot and calling myself a teacher. A teacher is someone who knows all the answers and is already an expert right? I would teach whenever I felt ready to teach (this was week-one-Ruth talking)

Anyways, I thought I would be able to work my way out of teaching a class. There is always a way...right?

When the time came and I realized I would be the one teaching first I didn't even panic. I guess the three previous weeks were paying off. I was c-a-l-m-e-d and I was strangely...excited.

I had the weekend to work on my flow and while I was coming up with ideas, songs, postures -and also starting to obsess- I said to myself...I came here to learn, to live and let go (This was my intention for the training) To do this I had to put push-yourself Ruth in the past. There was no need  to have a perfect class or be a perfect teacher. All this time I had been learning to be comfortable so this could be my intention for my class: To be myself because that would be enough.

Being myself meant teaching from my own experience. My experience with yoga is that I don't need to push myself through goals or achieve a perfect posture. In yoga I learned that all I need to do is be present. That's it. That's enough. No, that's more than enough.

On Monday at 8:00 AM I taught my first yoga class.

The flow I put together started with some Self Awakening Yoga movements and incorporated table top poses, warrior series and headstands...because well, I love looking at the world from a different perspective.

As I said there were only 5 of us in the group and by Tuesday afternoon we were done! That could only mean one thing in my world:

After these two days were over we went back to our normal schedule. The rest of the week was a bitter sweet feeling for me. I knew Heinz would be arriving on Friday which was beyond exciting but at the same time it meant it would all be over. The training, the classes, the jungle path, the jungle path conversations. The saddest part would be saying good-bye to everyone. I am not even trying to understand how 29 people  from different parts of the world, with such different backgrounds were put together in Nosara to share this experience. I learned a lot from my teachers but what I learned from each of the students has a special place in my heart. Each of them taught me something, without even trying. That is were the true teacher is born and I was able to witness how each of us realized that we were already teachers. Teachers from our own experience.

Graduation day came and even though it was I was emotional I somehow knew it wasn't over, not even close. It all felt like a milestone, yes, but not as an end to a journey.

1. Getting my diploma, 2. My amazing, incredible, out-of-this-world-yet-so-human yoga teachers, 3. Nosara Yoga Institute graduates, 4. Don, Ruth and Amba as happy as can be :)

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YTT - Third week

As the training developed we learned a new Sutra each week. Third week started with the third Sutra of Yogi Patanjali (even though it sounds as if I know who Yogi Patanjali  is I really didn't know who he was until I came here. I keep getting it wrong calling him DJ Patanjali)

This is the third Sutra: 

Tada drashtu swarupe vashtanam

 

From our book and our discussion in class the Sutra can be "translated" into something like this:

_{Standing there,}

_{with resolute determination, like a mountain;}

_{focusing upon the particular vritti (thoughts, feelings, sensations) that you have chosen to focus upon,}

_{your essential and fundamental nature will be revealed to you,}

_{and you will become established in your essential and fundamental nature -} 

_{witnessing the multidimensional layers of self.}

 

This has been BY FAR the Sutra that has spoken to me the most. I have to say that even though the term Sutra was something I've heard before I hadn't put that much thought into it until we had a basic Sanskrit class. 

I was blown away by Sanskrit. I like to think I am into languages, words, communication, etc. I believe that there is a mental structure behind a language, but that's just me and my non-scientific discoveries. But that's another subject and another post.

Back to the Sutra. 

I felt the Sutra spoke to me personally. With the opening words I felt it referred to where I was "standing" both physically and emotionally:

I am in  Costa Rica. Focusing on myself so my essential and fundamental nature would be revealed. 

DJ Patanjali was so right.

Once I become more aware of my interests, my thoughts, my emotions and I accept the fact that I am who I am and -as we learned in class- I don't know what I don't know the rest seems to follows.

I become established in me. In the different aspects and dimensions of what being me means.

Obviously not everything was revealed to me on the third week but as the training was coming to an end it actually felt like a new beginning. It's not an end but a starting point to a new journey.  Now that I know that self discovery and self interest is not selfish at all I'm diving right in into the inquiry of self awareness.

I've got a good feeling about 2013.

If I could sum up this week in one word it would be: OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMAZING!!!!!

 

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Quick friday checkup

This is how life in Costa Rica is going so far. 

Yoga Teacher Training: The first week went by so slowly, the second week flew by and now the training is almost over. Where did time go?

Body: I've lost some weight but I don't think it's that much. I can see the difference though. What I am most happy about is feeling how my flexibility and balance are getting better by the minute.

Current best friend: WATER

Budget: I went on a little shopping spree and got a new hat (18$) a new scarf (15$) and a new pair of yoga pants (40$). I know I over payed the pants but they are one of a kind!

Food: Avocados.

What I need ASAP: I still need nail polish remover

Running: My personal way of meditation.

Highlight of the week:  I am still ecstatic that I went swimming in the ocean AT NIGHT. 

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Got avocados?

1. Green Salad with drained red beans, feta cheese and avocado. As a dressing I used some salt, olive oil and a little bit of lime juice 2. Guacamole toasts (great for breakfast, lunch or dinner) 3. Quinoa, broccoli and avocado cold salad. Dressing was again salt, olive oil and lime juice 4. Quinoa topped with sauteed portobello mushrooms and avocado.

I told you I was going to be eating a lot of avocados!

The common element beside the obvious is that all these meals are easy to cook. i don't have a lot of time between classes and I also have a limited amount of ingredients so I stick to fast and simple options.  I haven't had to sacrifice taste though :)

Last week I made my  hummus recipe so I think I'll be alternating between hummus and avocados...but I can't promise anything. I love these green pieces of heaven called aguacates.

 

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Photo-walk meditation

   
  

In the yoga teacher training we are adviced to go for a  one-hour beach meditation.  It's right after our morning session and since you have the beach as your background it is the perfect place to go and have a few minutes by yourself.

Through Vivienne's blog  I learned what photo walks were and I thought they would be a great idea for me to try out here. I could meditate, get to know the place and take pretty pictures that I would later have as memories of my trip to Nosara.

The day I went down to the beach for the first photo walk I ended up deciding that it was too darn hot to keep doing it so please enjoy the result of the one and only photo walk from Nosara.

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It’s been an exhausting week both physically and emotionally.

I thought I was going to be able to keep up with last week’s schedule and  blog between classes or at night but it has been challenging in more than one way.

The physical part may be the most obvious one. We have a very demanding schedule and it seems like I can’t find time to “just chill”

Just so you get an idea last sunday was my first actual beach day. I still had to go to the 6:00 AM & 6:00 PM classes.

I’ve split my free time into three activities: taking naps, running and surfing.  Napping is certainly what I am most into.

I still have two more weeks to go so I need to distribute my energy wisely.

When it comes to the classes, I have only one thing to say: there is a lot of information to be absorbed.

Between the Sanskrit, the sutras, the asanas, the bhandas, the chakras topped with a series of weird dreams I’ve been having I have to say my brain is over loaded.

I’m usually very linear or sequential in my head (I think in terms of cause and effect) and I find that by deconstructing information into flow charts I can process any information better.

Right now I have absolutely no way of deconstructing this information into charts because it’s not linear at all. One thing won’t necessarily lead you to another, there are different paths to a common end, no right or wrong answer and strangely enough…I get it.

I still haven’t been able to fully process it but somehow what I am learning has been stored in my heart and somewhere in my brain. It makes sense –I swear!- and you’ll know why in a second.

The Institute has an intuitive approach to both yoga and the body -which I am totally in love with! -

As a result of this approach the Institute has developed something called Self Awakening Yoga.

What is Self Awakening Yoga you may ask….

In their own words:

Self-Awakening Yoga: The Expansion of Consciousness Through the Body's Own Wisdom (…) is a self-educational and self-therapeutic yoga modality that is based on the use of moderate effort, rather than going to one's maximum edge. Cultivating one's capacity for relaxed awareness allows for a deep release into the natural flexibility, mobility and balance in your body --without producing strain or fatigue. Going slowly enough to allow the body to learn through experience. Prana, the intelligent life force, is always at work, supporting one's discovery of wholeness

In my words:

This is serious. This is life changing, jaw dropping, pure wisdom stuff. 

Before I came here I used to think I was into a fast flow sort of yoga because I loved to get a good sweat out of my classes.

WRONG.

This slow motion, self-healing yoga is freaking awesome and the best part of it is: it feels good.

After the Self-Awakening Yoga sessions my whole body feels aligned, loose and just like if every muscle, bone and tendon is in its right place. As my body goes through this process my mind feels more comfortable than ever. My brain and my body are in the same place at the same time. I feel comfortable in my own skin, the most comfortable I have ever been.

This is important to me because almost two years ago I started to make some adjustments to my life. I realized I was going to turn 30 and even though I had accomplished the goals I’d set myself I still did not feel accomplished. I didn’t want to keep this up until I was older to later realize that after everything I’d pushed myself into I still would not feel accomplished or good enough.

I decided to start embracing things that would make me feel better about myself  -not because of the money, time convenience or whatever – it had to make my heart pound faster, it had to make me feel good. I also started to shed things that were not healthy or useful in my life

During this period of time I took up running seriously, changed my diet and finally I quit my job and became self-employed.

Through this process I found yoga, a place where I didn’t have to set and push myself into any goals; I just needed to be present.

My love for yoga brings me here, to this training where I’ve learned that in yoga I can be present, I can be aware and I can be myself.

This is why it all makes sense.  We are learning through a process where we find what feels good for each of us. I find what feels good for myself, what I am most comfortable with. My experience becomes my teacher.

I thought this trip was going to be the perfect ending to a great year –hard one but still great- little did I know that this would only be the beginning.

It starts here, in this eternal moment of being present. It starts with me being comfortable in my own skin. 

 

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Quick monday checkup

Training: I feel my meditation is steadier. Before I came here I used to come in and out of it pretty easily and don’t get me wrong I still have a hard time but it feels more continuous. I don’t want to use the word deep but I guess I just did.

Body: My skin was breaking out really bad last week. I think it may have been a sort of detox my body was going through. After this weekend it feels a little better.

Current best friend: Baby wipes.

Budget: You would think it would be pretty cheap to eat and get around here but it’s not. It’s kind of expensive and sort of annoying. I try not to think too much about since I’m already here and I have to eat but just so you get the idea I saw an 8$ bottled juice today.

Food: I was relying on fruit and vegetables but apparently Costa Rica ranks as the number one country with more pesticide use in the world. Unfortunately organic food is not an option for me right now –budget wise- so I wish I didn’t know about the pesticide use.

What I need ASAP: Nail polish remover

Running: Spectacular! I have gone out two times. The first time went smoother than the second one but the most important thing is that I think I am overcoming any hip pain that kind of stayed around after the psoas injury.

Highlight of the weekend: I went surfing!

Highlight of the day: Clean laundry baby!

A blury picture of where I blog from.

 

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